Our Winkaversary.........

I met Rick on match.com. I did not want to go back to match. I just broke up with a huge dud of a man right before valentines day of 2006. It seemed like not only was I not meant to have a valentine on valentines day, I wasn't meant to have love in my life. At 30 years old, I wondered if I was destined to be alone forever. Was I ever going to find love? Was I going to be blessed enough to be a mother? I was growing doubtful. My mom assured me that I was being ridiculous. Of course I will have my happy ending. She forced me to go out with friends when I didn't feel like going to another bar or club. The one thing she couldn't get me to do was go back on match.com. I had really had it with everybody on there. I still had an account that was pre-paid for a couple more months. Little did I know, she was signing on as me and looking for my perfect guy.

I got home from work one day exhausted as usual and mom looked excited. I found you a really nice guy. I rolled my eyes. She said just look at his profile. Okay, fine. Mom, you know I don't want to date anybody who lives in Minneapolis. She told me that was no big deal. Then I noticed his screen name. MNbeancounter. Wait a minute......what does he do for a living? Ugh! He's an accountant. Mom! Accountants have no personalities! Again, she told me to just read his profile. Okay, whatever. I sat down, too exhausted to argue, and read. He DID sound really nice. Okay, here goes, we will see what happens. I grabbed the mouse and pressed the "send a wink" button. It was March 9, 2006. Rick would call this date our Winkaversary. He always thanked me for winking at him. Every Winkaversary, the first thing he would do in the morning is give me a big wink and a little gift or a card. You know the jokes on how guys never remember anniversaries or birthdays? Not Rick. He remembered our important dates more than I did.

I never did tell Rick the story of my mom finding him for me. He was so happy that I found him and reached out to him. Why burst his bubble? I knew I would tell him one day. I figured when we were old and cute and watching our grandchildren play in our yard, I would tell him and we would laugh about it together. That was a huge mistake on my part. Assuming that we were going to grow old together. Assuming that we had a lifetime. Baby doll, if you can somehow see this blog, or know my thoughts. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that it was my mom that found you for me. I'm sorry I stupidly took it for granted that we would grow old together. Most of all, I'm sorry that we will not grow old together. That for some unknown reason, you were stolen away from me. I mourn the loss of a daddy that Lucas will never have again in the physical sense. I pray that you have the ability in your new life to watch over Lucas and I and keep us safe.

I will remember March 9, 2006 as one of the very best days of my life. The day destiny brought us together. Our Winkaversary.