Rest Well Baby Doll

You may wonder what signifigance this title has. From about a month into our relationship, Rick and I called each other Baby Doll. I don't remember who started it and I guess it doesn't really matter, but we NEVER called each other by our names. We were so in love. We were every cliche in the book. I used to ask Rick how it felt to be the most loved man that ever lived. He used to say amazing. There are a lot of used tos in my life now. I used to have a husband, best friend, soul mate. I used to think I was so blessed to have such an amazing man. I used to watch Rick play with our son and be so proud of our little family. That was all before April 1st, 2011. Rick was never sick. I always have some kind of cold. I remember being jealous of his immune system. When I got the call from him at lunch time that he wasn't feeling well, I figured AHA! You finally have a cold! I was wrong. I would give anything for that to have been the case. I would learn that his boss took him to a clinic who sent him to a local hospital who thought he was having a stroke and rushed him by ambulance to a trauma hospital in Minneapolis. I rushed to the hospital only to have a chaplain come in to the room they put me in. He asked if there was anything they could do for me. Yes, let me see my husband please. His last words to me on the phone were hurry, I need you. The chaplain looked at me with pity. He let me know they were feverishly trying to save Rick's life. WHAT??? I was not told that the situation was life or death. Surely God would never take Rick from Lucas and I right?? RIGHT?? Wrong. On April 3,2011 at about 3:30 in the afternoon Rick was gone. He had a massive brain stem aneurysm the likes of which the doctors never saw before "in a person of his age". Rick made it to 40 years, 7 months and 8 days old. I am 36 years old. A 36 year old widow? Is that even possible? Yes it is. When the obituary was printed in the paper on April 5, it came with one year of online guestbook posting. I never thought about doing a blog. I used the guestbook as a blog. I signed it rest well baby doll. I continue to sign it the same way with each post. I even made sure that rest well baby doll is engraved on the headstone that I lovingly picked out for the most amazing husband and father that I have ever come across. So I sign off my very first blog post with rest well baby doll. I love you and miss you more than anything.